Silly Soccer, You Are Silly

Soccer matches typically aren’t ripe for silliness unless the players involved are heavily intoxicated or toddlers not yet fully familiar with their limbs, which are essentially the same thing. But Saturday’s match-up of Major League Soccer’s first and latest dynasties was pure, uncut silly — in every iteration. The weather started the nonsense. At kickoff the temperature…

Open Letter To DeAndre Yedlin

Dear Yo Sup Howdy Hey DeAndre (my name’s André wow what a coincidence let’s be friends anyway read this), Sorry, I’m not used to writing letters — especially to people I don’t know. Except for that prison pen pal program I had in middle school which, in hindsight, WAS THE WORST IDEA ANYONE HAS EVER…